libertarirynn:

impuretale:

sinningsleepingandshitposting:

flotorshi:

Neatly summarized as: people not knowing how to properly take care of cats

The episodes that don’t conform to this formula are also always the most interesting. These situations include:

1) I Didn’t Know My Cat Had PTSD and Has Gone Blind.

2) Your Cats Fight Because One of Them Doesn’t Know How to Speak Cat, and They’re Both Kinda Mad/Confused About It. 

3) Your Cat Sprays Everywhere? Get Them Fixed. Surprise Twist: They Were Fixed But It Was a Botched Operation.

4) We’re Going to Rescue 50+ Kittens, Take Them to Vegas, and Adopt Them All To Loving Homes.

5) This is Not a Cat. This is a Dog. 

Hang on what was number five?

the-real-norbert-hofer:

esmeanne:

esme listening to rose and edward discuss the curse of their existence for the 12th time in one day

like imagine if you were super strong, super fast and probably you also have some other superpower like reading minds or some shit and you spend your time just crying over the fact that youre now immortal??? like meet me @ coachella where everyone is complimenting my insane body glitter and my bomb ass dance moves having the time of my undead life until the volturi drop by and end me by ripping my head off

cobaltdays:

if you firmly believe cowboy cats would say meowdy hit that mf reblog

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

thoggle:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

so in college it turns out you can just, turn up for placement exams at the beginning of the semester. exams which are pass/fail.

and anyways, that’s why i have 9 credit hours for college biology, a subject i have never studied  

Again, another story presented by the great and wonderful Gaud.

after easter the grocery store was selling reeses eggs for 12 cents so i bought the entire stock

it was 4 boxes, 144 eggs in total

i ate them all

i’m the person you read about in math problems

canadian-riddler:

me reading my own fanfic: where’s the rest, you fool

professorfangirl:

(Nicked from iambickilometer):

drop one of these bad boys in my askbox and i will post, without editing

• FIRST — the first two sentences of my current project
• LAST — the most recently written two sentences of my current project
• NEXT — the next line. meaning i will finish the sentence I’m on and write a new one, which you’ll get.
• [insert prompt here] — you post a prompt, and i’ll write three sentences based on that prompt, set in the same time/setting as my current project
• THE END — i’ll make up an ending, or post the ending if i’ve written it
• BEFORE THE BEGINNING — three sentences (or more) about something that happened before the plot of my current project
• POV — something that’s already happened, retold from another character’s perspective