hopecountylovin:

Sick Seed Head Canons

Joseph:

• Ignores it (the Father can’t be sick)
• Tries to pray it away
• Ends up so sick he passes out and needs to be hospitalized
• John has to take over his sermons for a week
• Will tell people not to fuss over him but secretly loves it

Faith:

• Takes an obscene amount of cough syrup
• Has her faithful get her all different kinds of herbal tea with local honey
• Sleeps for four days straight
• Wakes up the fifth day right as rain

Jacob:

• Is in complete denial
• He doesn’t get sick
• Will shoot anyone (excluding his brothers) who say otherwise.
• Nothing else, because HE DOESN’T GET SICK

John:

• Becomes a complete baby
• Wants to be waited on hand and foot
• Consistently states that he is dying
• Has a bell he rings whenever he needs something
• Has a never ending supply of said bell for when the deputy/his siblings try to hide it
• Definitely tries Monica Gellar’s VapoRub trick to get the Deputy to have sex with his sick ass